Not Quite So Scary
by Hedonistic Opportunist
Summary: Even if Sweden can be scary, he's also gentle. SuFin. Written for the kink!meme.


**Not Quite So Scary**

Disclaimer: I really don't own anything, God forbid.

**Notes**: Since I've shared nearly all of my Hetalia fics here, I might share this one as well. I have another SuFin to post, but will do so later (when I feel like it XDD). Thanks goes to **Kaikouken** for editing. There might be some dumb typos lurking about, but it's nothing major. I do edit this every now and then. Um, the worst part about this piece the prose – it's really not my best.

_**Warnings**_: Rather repetitive prose (I think it's a bit clunky and child-like sounding), sappiness and explicit smut?

...

Sometimes, Finland wished Sweden would stop treating him like a woman. He didn't mind being taken care of so much, and it was really nice that Sweden gave him clothes and fixed them as well when they were too big and slipped off his shoulders. Somehow, he always looked like a toddler in Sweden's big – way too big – clothes.

"Why are you doing this?" Finland always asked, confused that he was being treated with such kindness and gentleness by a man as silent and overbearingly scary as Sweden was. Maybe, he thought at times, Sweden was only being kind to him, so he could gain power over him. And as much as Finland liked Sweden, he had no desire to be invaded by anyone again. He wanted to be free, but then at the same time, he didn't really want to leave because Sweden wasn't all that bad, really. Sometimes, at least.

"Y're my wife," Sweden would whisper into his ears, and Finland – always too nervous and fluttery – would blush, stammer and then nearly faint. He couldn't help it – Sweden was just so scary at times, surprising him with those gestures. One minute, he was stoic and silent and then he'd hug Finland from behind or – while they were sleeping – scoot up closer to him, and pull him even closer to his warm body.

"So y'll not feel cold," he always said then, and Finland couldn't do anything but shudder and cry a bit at that. It wasn't because he was weak. Sweden was just intimidating.

And Finland had always been too excitable. He guessed it came with having been conquered and tossed back from one country to the other so often. One just couldn't help being overly paranoid when so many forces where always on the look-out to grab hold of you.

Finland thought that he'd really been cursed to have been born that small and delicate-looking. It gave people the wrong idea, especially Sweden. Because Sweden always treated him like a woman and Finland didn't like that, really. Because he could be strong as well.

Finland thought right now, while he lay on the bed next to Sweden, how he'd wish he'd be taken more seriously.

He looked at Sweden – Su-san – in his sleep, and thought, while he felt something coil in his stomach, that Sweden looked nearly vulnerable in his sleep. The lack of glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose made his facial features appear softer, nearly kind. But then Sweden was kind, only that Finland wasn't sure whether he could trust him.

_But I want to trust him so bad_, Finland thought in his head, and shifted in his position. He turned to the side, and lay so that he was facing Sweden completely now. He could see how the other man was breathing in his sleep – his mouth was open, and some drool was already running down his mouth. It was pretty cute and, it made Sweden look human – and Finland was forced to bite back the giggle forming on his mouth. At times like this, Sweden – no, Su-san – was adorable, and Finland wished he could see more of the cute Su-san, not the scary one.

Finland had no idea what was going on with him, but he leaned his arm further back against the soft pillow and shuffled closer to Sweden. The bed sheets rustled and the bed creaked slightly as he moved closer, moved so close that he could feel Sweden's breath on his cheeks. And their noses were brushing as well. If he moved even closer, Finland knew that then their lips would meet.

Finland closed his eyes, and felt his heart do odd little thumps against his ribcage. He was nervous, even though Sweden was asleep. Besides, it wasn't as if they hadn't kissed before. In fact, they'd done way more than that. He'd done all sorts of things with Su-san, and, even if Sweden never pressed him to do them, Finland wasn't sure whether it was really good to do that sort of stuff. He was a man, wasn't he?

"_Could a man really do that sort of stuff with another man?" _he wondered.

Then again, Su-san seemed to like it because he always closed his eyes when they did it, and sometimes he even moaned – maybe he did it quietly, but he still moaned. And if he was going to be honest, Finland liked it as well. It had been a bit strange at first, but then it also felt good at times. And Sweden always took care to ask Finland if he liked it, and whether it didn't hurt.

Finland liked that Su-san cared enough about him to take his feelings into consideration. It made him re-think his opinion of Sweden being a scary person. But still, Finland didn't want to be treated like a woman, even if Sweden was always gentle with him.

But he wasn't going to think of all that now because – and Finland blushed at that – it made him feel bothered somehow and very restless. And he this wasn't the time to think, not when Finland was a man on a mission.

Feeling he'd die if he didn't do it, Finland finally moved to his destination and pressed his lips – ever so lightly – against Sweden's. He closed his eyes immediately. Su-san's lips were so warm, and soft. They were inviting, and Finland felt the restless feeling inside of him increase. He wasn't only restless now, but he felt hot – he felt so hot and needed more of this.

"You're – awake?" he nearly hollered, and immediately shrunk back. He felt like running away somewhere. This was just way too embarrassing and scary. Why, oh why, had he done something as foolish as that?

Moonlight poured in from the open windows. Finland watched with great apprehension how various emotions seemed to flutter through Sweden's face. Other people weren't able to read Sweden, but Finland had come to be able to detect more than one expression on Su-san's face over the passage of time. When Su-san was angry, he tended to bite his lower lips and his blue eyes narrowed dangerously – and somewhat threateningly.

What if Su-san was going to be angry that he had taken advantage of him like this?

Finland could deal with anything but his anger. Because even if Su-chan was a scary person, he was rarely angry.

"I'm so sorry- so sorry. I just wanted to-" he blurted out, feeling Sweden's eyes boring deeply into his face. He stopped because Sweden was looking at him so intensely.

And then he felt warm hands around his waist, and before Finland knew what was going on, he was encased – surrounded – by familiar warmth. It was Sweden.

"It's a'right. I don't mind if y'do it," Su-san said reassuringly, and his tone was warm. If Finland hadn't known better, he would have said that it was loving. But could someone like Sweden really be loving? It didn't really matter because Finland still felt tingles of excitement running down his spine and sighed in relief. Sweden wasn't angry at him. That was good. Finland smiled and moved closer to Sweden again. He saw that Su-san was looking at him attentively, and Finland felt himself growing uneasy again.

"What is it, Su-san?"

"I wish y' did it more often," Su-san answered, and Finland felt his heartbeat increase again. "I wish y' won't be so scared o' me."

"Wh-"

Finland never got to finish because Sweden silenced him by pressing his mouth gently, yet insistently against his. But Finland wasn't in the mood to protest, and instead, grabbed hold of Sweden's shoulders and pulled him closer. They were close now, so close that Finland nearly thought he could feel Sweden's heart beat in accord to his own excited pulse. But maybe he was imagining things. Sweden forced Finland's mouth open, by gently nibbling against his lower lip. Finland couldn't do anything but grant him access.

The heat and coiling feeling in his stomach was growing stronger, and Finland squirmed under Sweden. He somewhat felt that this wasn't enough. He wanted more, and pressed his fingernails deeper into Sweden's skin, shuddering as the other man broke the kiss to lavish his neck in a series of gentle kisses.

"Su-san," Finland gasped out, as he felt Sweden's tongue trail his neck. Sweden's hands had moved under his shirt, and his cool hands felt wonderful against his skin. But that wasn't all. One hand, which Finland wasn't sure was Su-san's left or right, was now circling one of his nipples, gently pinching and squeezing from time to time. Finland gasped a bit more, and felt his face heat up. But then, he felt Su-san's other hand glide down his skin, past his belly button and dive under his pyjama pants. Finland sucked in breath, as he felt Sweden's cool and long fingers grab hold of his manhood. Finland had realised it by now, but he was hard, and he felt himself only grow harder when Sweden's hand encircled the head of his cock. He choked, and tried to squeeze his eyes shut as Sweden – gently and nearly cautiously – started to pump. Meanwhile, his other hand continued to squeeze and alternatively pinch Finland's erect nipples. It was torturous, and Finland could only gasp and arch wantonly on the bed.

This was – Su-san was being scary again. Finland hadn't been prepared for that.

"Stop this -" he gasped out.

Sweden stopped, and Finland nearly moaned out in protest. He hadn't really expected Su-san to stop.

"Y'don't like it?" Sweden asked, his face concerned. Finland suddenly felt awful, and there was a pang in his heart ... because Su-san looked so troubled. His eyes were questioning. They were calm on the surface, but Finland knew that Sweden was worried.

"I don't wan' to hurt y'," Su-san said again, quietly this time. "I'm sorry if I did."

Finland threw his arms around Sweden, and felt tears roll down his cheek. He wasn't a weak idiot, but he just didn't know how to react otherwise now. All of this overwhelmed him too much. He could feel Sweden's lower body pressing against his own, and flushed slightly when the man's own arousal brushed against his thigh. Finland hadn't thought of that. All this time, he'd only been thinking of himself, but he'd never thought that Sweden might be feeling scared as well. That maybe Sweden was just as scared and terrified of all this as he – Finland – was.

"You weren't hurting me, Su-san," he whispered, and his mouth clapped shut again. He felt like saying more, like how good it felt and how touched – yes, touched he was – that Su-san was always so gentle and patient with him. But then, he couldn't find the words because they terrified him. Su-san was so scary because being with him made Finland made feel so thrilled, yet always terrified at the same time. He was scared that, if he really gave in to Sweden, he'd lose himself on the way. And yet, Finland thought, maybe it wouldn't be so bad to utterly lose himself in Sweden.

"Su-san, I'd like to-" Finland blushed, but gathered his courage, "I'd like to ... be the one to make you happy for once."

Sweden immediately broke the embrace, and searched Finland's eyes. He looked adorably confused. "But I'm happy with ya-"

Finland shut Sweden up by placing his hands against the man's lower lip. He shook his head, and placing his hands on Su-san's chest, motioned the man to lie down on the bed while Finland remained seated on it.

He hadn't really done this before. Up to that point, it had only been Su-san who'd done it for him, and it hadn't been often. Finland had mostly been too embarrassed to allow Su-san to really do it, even though it hadn't felt bad at all. Finland took a deep breath, and prayed to the Gods above that he wouldn't die of suffocation before he did this. That would have been a shame, indeed, and, for once, Finland was resolved to do something right and, yes, be a little daring himself.

_So, I might as well get started,_ Finland thought and bent his head over the lower region of Su-san's body. The moon was still shining outside, and Finland could see the bulge quite clearly. It made a tent of Sweden's pyjama trousers, and Finland flushed again, but ignored the inner voice in his head. Trembling a bit, he pulled Sweden's pants down until his cock was bared for all the world – or better said – Finland to see. It was aching, and Finland marvelled at how it looked. He'd never really seen Su-san's cock before, and it looked weird now, but at the same time, Finland couldn't help being curious to know how it tasted. Taking another deep breath, he bent his head further down and made his first, cautious lick.

_Su-san tastes funny_, he thought. He wondered if he tasted funny to Su-san as well when he did this to him. Usually when Su-san did it, he'd massage Finland's balls and sometimes – when Finland didn't protest too much – he'd bite down on the head, but Finland didn't think he could do that just yet. He was too scared of doing something wrong and making Su-san angry. Right now, the only thing Finland felt he could do was suck, and so, he did just that. He felt he was doing it right because Su-san's breathing had increased, and Finland could hear him pant.

He took Sweden's cock deeper into his mouth, and sucked harder now. Finland felt a shudder run down his spine, as he heard Su-san moan out and felt the man's hands bury themselves in his hair. He liked it, and Finland was glad, in spite of how odd this felt. So, he sucked more and, fuelled on by how Sweden gasped and moaned, did it faster until Su-san stopped him.

Sweden looked away, and the muttered: "I'm close, but I don't think y'd like it if – I came in yer mouth."

Finland nodded, but then an idea popped into his brain. Maybe, this wouldn't be as bad as he thought it was. Maybe, it was like having Sweden inside of him. Besides, Sweden didn't seem to mind doing it, and Finland felt that he owed Su-san as much as that. And maybe, a part of him wanted to prove Sweden that he was a man and not some wimpy little damsel in distress. He could handle this.

"I don't mind," Finland said and then took Su-san into his mouth again before he could protest. Su-san's hips arched off the bed and then felt something shoot into his mouth – it tasted even weirder than the cock had had, but it wasn't disgusting in any way.

"I'm sorry," Su-san said, and Finland swore that he was blushing. Somehow, even if it was silly and dumb, Finland felt a bit a proud of himself. It was kind of amazing that he'd made a taciturn and so self-composed a man such as Sweden blush. Sweden rose from his sitting position, and wiped some of the mess off Finland with his blanket. Then, Sweden caressed Finland's cheek softly. Finland leaned into the touch. Sweden muttered another "I'm sorry".

"Don't be," Finland said, and smiled. "I'm glad it made you happy."

Sweden suddenly grabbed hold of him and kissed him, harshly and more passionately than he'd done in this evening. He pushed him down on the mattress, and, somewhere along the line, their clothes were discarded.

Finland felt something close to fear building inside of him again, but then forced himself to stay calm. Because, he wasn't really scared. This was Sweden. He wouldn't hurt him. All this time, even if Finland had been scared, he'd known that Su-san wouldn't hurt him. And he wasn't being pushed into this. No, Finland wanted this. He wanted Su-san. He needed him. But Su-san stopped kissing him all of a sudden, and a surprised Finland heard the rustle of bed sheets and the creak of the bed as Sweden sat up.

"What are you searching for?" Finland asked, worried he'd done something wrong. He hoped he hadn't.

"Lube," Su-san murmured, and Finland nearly slapped himself on the forehead. He'd nearly forgotten that Sweden never did anything to him without proper preparation.

Finland felt himself blush because he knew what Sweden would do next. And this time, Finland felt he didn't need such extra consideration. He knew it wouldn't hurt too much this time, so fingers weren't needed. Sweden looked confused.

"Y' not in mood?"

Finland shook his head. "I am."

"Then let me do this," Su-san said gently, yet insistently. "Or it will hurt."

"No, it won't. I don't need this, I'm fine," Finland murmured. Actually, he couldn't take it anymore, but felt that it would be undignified to beg Su-san to finally _do him_. He was, admittedly, a bit afraid of the consequences. Maybe, Su-san would take that in the wrong way, be a bit too harsh and start slamming into him without any inhibitions.

_Maybe, that would be hot_, Finland thought, but he wasn't in the mood for rough sex tonight. He'd save it for another time.

Su-san nodded, and placing a leg of Finland's on either side of his shoulders, squirted the lube on his cock, and when he was done with that, entered Finland slowly. Finland gasped out as he felt the other man fill him, slowly and patiently. Su-san was always patient and tender. He pressed a gentle kiss on Finland's forehead before starting to move. Sweden thrust in slowly, taking his time in order to – as Finland perceived – for him to get used the sensation of having Su-san inside of him. And it felt good to have Su-san inside of him, Finland was forced to admit, even if it was weird. But then was he really forced to doing this?

No, there wasn't anything forced about this. He liked it. He liked being with Su-san, and he hoped that Sweden knew that. Because, for the time being, he wasn't sure if he could admit to that out loud yet. But, Finland hoped that Su-san knew that he wasn't as scared of him anymore as he'd been in the past.

"Su-san," he murmured, again and again as the man pulled his cock in and out – out and in – of him. He grabbed onto Sweden's shoulders, and dug his fingernails deeply into the other man's skin. This felt more than just good now, even if the slapping sounds and his moans were a bit odd-sounding. But Finland decided to ignore his unease and just let go. So, he just focused on meeting Sweden's still gentle thrusts with his hips, suddenly feeling that he wanted a bit more. And his cock was throbbing as well. Somehow Finland wasn't utterly satisfied by this.

"Su-san-" Finland started, but then the words died on his lips. He flushed. He turned his face away from Su-san's, not being able to look him into the face. He chewed and bit on his fingernails. _This was too embarrassing_, Finland thought.

Sweden stopped, and Finland met his gaze. He nearly seemed to smile, and Finland felt any doubts he might have had disappear.

"Faster?"

Finland nodded, and blushed even more darkly. It was good that Su-san understood him. Su-san then smiled, and started to move faster, keeping his promise. Finland moaned out as he felt Su-san deeper inside of him, and threw his head back on the pillow. Finland could feel the pressure build up inside of him, and it seemed to spread like a fever over his entire body. He was arching even more off the bed now, and trying to meet Su-san's thrusts. He gripped onto Sweden's shoulders more harshly, and felt his toes curling. The bed creaked under them, and Finland dimly wondered why he'd always been so scared of this. Because right now, the only thing Finland felt was pleasure and nothing else.

Finland moaned even harder when he felt Su-san's hand on his cock, pumping gently and occasionally pausing to massage his balls. It was too much, Finland thought, too much. He couldn't take this anymore. With a loud moan, Finland felt the pressure grow even more unbearable, and then he came. Su-chan still thrust in and out a few more times until he followed suit, and buried his head in Finland's neck. He was breathing heavily. Finland was out of breath as well and couldn't think properly. He only knew that he felt safe. Safe with Su-san.

"Su-san?"

Sweden looked up, and waited for Finland to speak. He looked nearly concerned. Finland sighed, and his fingers reached up to hold Su-san's face.

"I don't think you're scary anymore," Finland admitted. And he wasn't. Sweden wasn't scary at all.

Su-san only smiled in response, and Finland couldn't help smiling in return.

...


End file.
